Beyond the Mask: Discovering Your Authentic Self After 50
Show Notes:
Summary:
In this episode of "Aging with Grace and Style," host Valerie Hatcher dives into the concept of authenticity, particularly for women over 50. Valerie discusses the significance of living true to oneself and identifies the common barriers that can prevent authenticity, such as societal expectations and internal doubts. Through her personal story and practical tips, she encourages listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery and embrace their true selves. Valerie provides actionable steps to cultivate authenticity, such as self-reflection, identifying core values, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion. She emphasizes that it's never too late to start living your truth and connects this journey to improved well-being and more genuine relationships.
Timestamps:
00:00 Embrace personal growth and authenticity in life.
06:31 Authenticity fosters genuine connections and self-respect.
08:36 Navigating life transitions, cultivate authenticity through reflection.
10:51 Authenticity: gradual alignment, empowerment, overcoming fears, fulfillment.
14:22 Explore new hobbies, be authentic, share stories.
Key Takeaways:
- Reflect on your inner values and passions to guide your journey towards authenticity.
- Understand that living authentically means aligning your actions with your core values, not necessarily sharing everything without filters.
- Embrace daily mindfulness practices like meditation and journaling to stay connected to your true self.
- Set boundaries to protect your well-being, and remember that small, consistent steps can lead to significant changes.
- Be patient and compassionate with yourself; authenticity is about progress and self-discovery, not perfection.
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Mentioned in this episode:
10 Tips for Aging Gracefully
Are you ready to embrace this chapter of your life with grace and style? I’ve put together a fantastic free ebook called "10 Tips for Aging Gracefully." Inside, you'll find some of my best tips to help women over 50 navigate this beautiful journey with confidence and poise. To get your hands on this freebie, all you need to do is head over to pod.agingwithgraceandstyle.com and sign up to receive our weekly newsletter. By signing up, you'll not only get access to the ebook but also stay updated with all our latest content, tips, and inspiration. Our newsletter community is made up of women just like you, who are embracing the next chapter with enthusiasm. Join us, and be part of a supportive network that encourages and uplifts each other. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to enhance your journey. Visit pod.agingwithgraceandstyle.com, sign up for our weekly newsletter, and let’s continue this wonderful journey together.
Transcript
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's life,
Speaker:Like you're wearing a mask to fit in, but it's slowly
Speaker:suffocating your true self. If so, you're not alone,
Speaker:and this episode is for you.
Speaker:Hey, friend. Ever feel like those old fashioned
Speaker:ideas about aging just don't fit you? If you're ready to
Speaker:own this incredible chapter with grace, style, and a touch of
Speaker:sass, this is your space. Welcome to the aging with
Speaker:grace and style podcast. I'm Valerie Hatcher, and I'm here
Speaker:with empowering tips, inspiring stories, and a whole lot of
Speaker:fun just for us, women over 50. So grab
Speaker:your favorite beverage, turn up the volume, and let's
Speaker:get started. As women
Speaker:over 50, we often find ourselves navigating
Speaker:significant life transitions, and embracing our true selves
Speaker:can be a powerful and liberating a.
Speaker:Kinda like when you've had on Spanx all
Speaker:day and you take them off and you feel like you can
Speaker:finally breathe. Well, that's also a liberating experience that
Speaker:I a this to. In today's show, we're discussing
Speaker:authenticity. We'll define it, discuss its
Speaker:importance, identify common barriers, and
Speaker:share practical steps to embrace our true self.
Speaker:Authenticity has played a significant role in my
Speaker:life and in the lives of many women that I've spoken with.
Speaker:For me, embracing authenticity meant
Speaker:letting go of societal expectations and
Speaker:truly listening to my inner voice. It's been a
Speaker:journey of self discovery and empowerment, and I'm
Speaker:excited to share this journey with you. As we
Speaker:age, many of us find ourselves
Speaker:on this journey to authenticity.
Speaker:Maybe you've always put others first, or
Speaker:perhaps you've been living up to an image
Speaker:of who you thought you should be, well, now
Speaker:is the time to embrace personal growth and self
Speaker:discovery. There are myths that
Speaker:authenticity means sharing everything or
Speaker:having no filters. So but what does
Speaker:it really mean? Authenticity is about
Speaker:your true self. It's aligning
Speaker:actions with values and living without pretense.
Speaker:It's the courage to show up as you are
Speaker:without hiding behind Sass or conforming
Speaker:to others' expectations. For women over 50, this
Speaker:journey is particularly meaningful as we
Speaker:navigate new chapters in our lives.
Speaker:So life transitions like the empty nest,
Speaker:retirement, or career shifts offer,
Speaker:a unique opportunity to reassess and
Speaker:embrace authenticity. These changes often
Speaker:prompt us to reflect on who we truly are
Speaker:and what we want from life. Living authentically
Speaker:brings numerous mental and emotional benefits.
Speaker:Actually, studies have shown that it can significantly
Speaker:improve mental health and overall well-being.
Speaker:When we're true to ourselves, we form
Speaker:stronger, more genuine relationships. It's a
Speaker:time for self awareness and reconnecting
Speaker:with our true self. And let's not forget the
Speaker:boost in confidence and self esteem that comes from
Speaker:embracing who we really are. Now let
Speaker:me share a personal experience about staying true to
Speaker:myself. For years, I have found
Speaker:myself more drawn to conversations
Speaker:about sports, cars, world events, and some
Speaker:shopping rather than what some might consider
Speaker:traditionally feminine topics. I guess you could
Speaker:Sass, I have always been a guy's girl. No.
Speaker:Not in a flirtatious way at all. I've just
Speaker:enjoyed those conversations. This preference
Speaker:sometimes put me at odds with certain
Speaker:social groups. I once joined an
Speaker:organization where the popular crowd
Speaker:had very specific interests, like tea parties
Speaker:and shopping and what I felt was surface level
Speaker:chatter. Now don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good
Speaker:shopping spree now and then, but it's not my main
Speaker:focus. I think my background in corporate a
Speaker:has meant that I was more comfortable with the, quote,
Speaker:unquote, water cooler a, discussing
Speaker:business strategies, technologically technological advancements,
Speaker:or the latest sports news, kids, and shopping.
Speaker:My dad was 1 who could talk to anyone
Speaker:about anything. So I felt, and, actually,
Speaker:I still feel, it's good to know a little bit about
Speaker:a variety of topics for the sake of conversation. But
Speaker:back to my story. In this group, my
Speaker:interests were seen as unusual,
Speaker:and I felt pressured to conform. I
Speaker:faced a choice, change myself to fit in
Speaker:or stay true to who I am. I
Speaker:chose authenticity, which initially led
Speaker:to feeling somewhat isolated. Yes. It
Speaker:stung a bit. But pretending to be someone else
Speaker:just to please others, that felt dishonest
Speaker:and exhausting.
Speaker:Interestingly, as time passed and some of these
Speaker:people got to know the real me, attitudes began to
Speaker:shift. They started to appreciate or
Speaker:maybe at least better understand my perspective.
Speaker:This experience actually taught me a valuable lesson.
Speaker:Conformity, it can sometimes border on
Speaker:cult like behavior, While authenticity,
Speaker:though challenging at times, allows for
Speaker:genuine connections and self respect. Now the
Speaker:takeaway, align yourself with people who appreciate
Speaker:your true self a of whether your
Speaker:a fit expectations. It's far more
Speaker:fulfilling to be authentically you than to
Speaker:exhaust yourself trying to be someone
Speaker:that you're not. The path to authenticity
Speaker:isn't always smooth, especially for us over 50.
Speaker:We face unique challenges touch as societal
Speaker:expectations, Societal pressures and
Speaker:stereotypes about how we should behave or look can
Speaker:inhibit our authenticity. We may feel, I don't
Speaker:know, compelled to conform to certain roles or
Speaker:appearances, which can stifle our true self.
Speaker:Then there's fear of judgment. The fear of criticism
Speaker:and judgment often holds us back. We worry about how
Speaker:others perceive us and whether we'll be accepted.
Speaker:Going back to my story, it would have been easier for
Speaker:me just to be like the others than to be shunned by
Speaker:them. Then there's internal doubt.
Speaker:So internal struggles like self doubt or
Speaker:imposter syndrome can also hinder our
Speaker:authenticity. We may question our worth and our abilities,
Speaker:doubting whether or not we can truly be ourselves.
Speaker:Career transitions or retirement can shake our sense of identity.
Speaker:Changing family dynamics, such as children leaving the
Speaker:nest or as we later become a,
Speaker:health and body image concerns that come with aging, all
Speaker:of these can affect our path to authenticity.
Speaker:But remember, these challenges are also
Speaker:opportunities for growth and self discovery.
Speaker:So how can we cultivate authenticity in
Speaker:our daily life? Well, if you've been around, you
Speaker:know I have some steps. Actually, I have 5 of them, so
Speaker:here they are. Number 1 is self reflection.
Speaker:Take time for self reflection through journaling.
Speaker:You know I always talk about journaling, meditation,
Speaker:or conversations with trusted friends. These
Speaker:practices help us gain clarity and connect with our inner
Speaker:selves. Number 2, identify core
Speaker:values. Identify and align with
Speaker:your personal values. Understand what truly matters
Speaker:to you, and let those values guide your decisions and your
Speaker:actions. 3, set boundaries.
Speaker:Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your authentic
Speaker:self. Learn to say no when necessary and
Speaker:prioritize your well-being. 4, practice
Speaker:self compassion. Embrace self compassion
Speaker:and patience on your journey to authenticity. Be kind to
Speaker:yourself and acknowledge that it's a continuous
Speaker:process of growth and self discovery. And 5,
Speaker:take small steps. Start with Style,
Speaker:authentic actions and gradually expand
Speaker:them. Each step you take towards living authentically
Speaker:builds confidence and reinforces your true self.
Speaker:I, recently listened to a psychologist who was
Speaker:discussing just this topic. Her advice was
Speaker:to start small. She said, a isn't
Speaker:about making drastic changes overnight. It's about
Speaker:gradually aligning your outer life with your
Speaker:inner truth. Small steps can lead to
Speaker:significant empowerment in our happiness and provide a sense
Speaker:of fulfillment. Some techniques that she
Speaker:suggested were, when you feel afraid to express
Speaker:your true self, ask yourself, what's the worst
Speaker:that could happen? Often, our fears are
Speaker:exaggerated. 1 of my favorite
Speaker:quotes about authenticity is from Brene Brown, and
Speaker:it says, a is a daily
Speaker:of letting go of who we think we're
Speaker:supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Speaker:a of our listeners told me that
Speaker:she had spent her whole life being who everyone
Speaker:else wanted her to be. But at 55,
Speaker:she finally asked herself, what do I
Speaker:wanna be? And I was recently at a
Speaker:podcasting summit, and I talked to a few women over
Speaker:50 on our we were talking about our
Speaker:why. What brought us to podcasting? And
Speaker:1 of them told me, she said she finally decided to pursue
Speaker:her passion for podcasting at 57. And she
Speaker:said it's been the most fulfilling journey.
Speaker:She told me that, embracing her true and
Speaker:authentic self had brought her so much joy.
Speaker:Now I talked earlier about steps to embrace
Speaker:authenticity, but here are a couple of other tips
Speaker:that you can use daily. So
Speaker:if if this is new to you because you've spent
Speaker:so much time conforming to the expectations of
Speaker:others, then you will need to really get
Speaker:in touch with who you are. 1 way of doing
Speaker:so is to incorporate daily mindfulness practices
Speaker:to stay connected to your true self. So
Speaker:whether it's through meditation, deep breathing,
Speaker:or just simply being present, Mindfulness
Speaker:helps maintain authenticity. And then
Speaker:another is to live authentic
Speaker:authentically by communicating honestly.
Speaker:Now that doesn't mean you just say whatever's on your mind all
Speaker:the time. We still need to have a filter and to respect
Speaker:others' feelings, following your passions
Speaker:and embracing imperfections.
Speaker:Remember, authenticity is about progress,
Speaker:not perfection. So Sass we wrap
Speaker:up, let's recap our key points.
Speaker:Authenticity is about being true to yourself.
Speaker:It brings benefits like improved well-being and
Speaker:stronger relationships. While there are challenges,
Speaker:especially for women over 50, they can be a.
Speaker:And practical steps like self reflection and
Speaker:pursuing passions can help cultivate authenticity.
Speaker:I encourage you to take 1 step towards
Speaker:living more authentically this week. Maybe, you know,
Speaker:is trying a new hobby that you've always been curious about
Speaker:or having an honest conversation with a loved 1
Speaker:or not doing what everyone else is doing to fit in.
Speaker:Or maybe like me, just don't go to the tea and crumpets
Speaker:place to fit in because you know when you leave, you're
Speaker:gonna be hungry. Remember, it's never too
Speaker:late to start living your truth. I'd
Speaker:love to hear what living a,
Speaker:yes, I've been struggling with that word, means to you. Share
Speaker:your stories in the comments or on social. Don't forget. You
Speaker:can leave me a voice message at pod.aging
Speaker:with grace and style.com. I'm getting more and more messages
Speaker:every week, and I love them. So thanks
Speaker:for joining me as we take this journey to embracing
Speaker:authenticity. Until next Style, keep embracing
Speaker:your authentic self and being true to
Speaker:who you really are.
Speaker:Thanks for hanging out with me today. I hope you're feeling
Speaker:inspired and ready to own your awesomeness. I love
Speaker:sharing this space with you, and if you of today's episode,
Speaker:do me a favor, share it with a friend who could use some
Speaker:extra inspiration. A quick rating and review
Speaker:really helps too. Don't forget to subscribe so
Speaker:you never miss an episode. Let's keep this conversation
Speaker:going. Head over to pod dot aging with
Speaker:grace and style.com to sign up for my newsletter.
Speaker:Until next time, keep shining with grace,
Speaker:style, and a whole lot of sass.